Listening Deeply
Panorama Playbook strategy: https://playbook.panoramaed.com/moves/1273
In this activity, students learn about and practice three listening skills: body language, focus, and expressing empathy. They will practice being active, authentic listeners with a partner– listening to make the speaker feel heard without reciprocating in the conversation. Speakers will also become more comfortable sharing about themselves and expressing feelings.
Goal:
Students will be able to:
- Learn about active listening skills
- Practice active listening
- Build comfort with expressing vulnerability
Preparation:
- Materias: journal, sticky notes, timer
Instructions:
(1) Introduce this lesson to students.
- Say: This week we are going to begin a series of lessons focused on our strengths as listeners. I hope that each of us could name a time when someone really listened to us and the powerful impact we felt knowing that they were listening. But I’m sure we each could also name a time when we felt like someone really wasn’t listening to us and the way that made us feel. It can be especially hard to communicate effectively in a virtual setting, which makes being aware of good listening practices even more important. Today we are going to begin by thinking about what makes someone a strong listener.
(2) Display the following terms on a white board:
- Body Language
- Focus
- Expressing Empathy
(3) Ask students to spend a few minutes brainstorming what each term might mean when it comes to listening. You may have students brainstorm in groups or independently in their journals. Take suggestions for definitions from students, then explain each skill, highlighting the following definitions and examples:
- Body Language: How are you physically positioned in relation to the speaker? Use body language and gestures to convey true listening.
- Good examples: eye contact or looking at their picture or the camera for virtual communication, nodding, facing forward or toward speaker
- Bad examples: slouched, turned sideways of speaker, arms crossed at all times, facial expressions that communicate disapproval or disgust at the speaker (e.g., eye rolling)
- Focus: Are you truly listening to what the person is saying, or are you waiting for your turn to speak? Paying attention by “tuning in” to the other person’s feelings and perspective allows you to minimize distractions and your inner dialogue of thoughts and judgments.
- Good examples: say “mm-hmm” at appropriate times, repeat key words mentally for reinforcement, keep your phone out of sight, avoid thinking about your response while the other person is talking, and avoid distractions (e.g., side conversations, phone ringing)
- Bad examples: look at your phone, look away, think about something else or yourself, interrupt the speaker with stories about yourself or what you’re thinking about
- Expressing Empathy: What are you saying or doing to make the speaker feel heard? It can make a big difference to a speaker if they are feeling affirmation from a listener. Whether you agree with the speaker or not, try to consider why he or she feels that way, and how you can better relate to them. Think less about how you would feel or think in their situation, and more about them. That’s empathy: when we understand the thoughts and feelings of others and show that we care.
- Good examples: After they’re done speaking, you can demonstrate that you heard what they said by paraphrasing (e.g., “So what I heard was...”), or asking thoughtful clarification questions (e.g., “what did you mean when you said…?”). You can validate feelings by saying, “I could sense that you felt… is that right?” and “I can understand why you’d feel...”
Bad examples: Asking the same question over and over, bringing up your own story right away after they’re done speaking, misrepresenting or minimizing what they said, telling them that what they felt was wrong.
(4) Record the definitions and examples of each listening skill in the best way possible to display throughout the lessons and beyond. Throughout, ask students to post their personal examples or feelings of being listened to based on each skill. This can be accomplished on a shared slide or using another web-based application that enables students to collaborate in a single document or through the creation of a Listening Board in the classroom with a white board and/or sticky notes.
(5) Ask for a volunteer to role-play the listening skills with you. Choose a fun prompt or question for them to respond to (e.g., dream vacation/holiday). Make sure to model the skills above: body language, focus, and expressing empathy.
(6) Once you’ve finished with this initial role-play exercise, ask the class what they noticed and how they knew whether each person was listening actively.
(7) Wrap-up the lesson.
- Say: For the next week or so, I encourage you to spend some time reflecting on your habits of listening and searching for examples of deep listening.
Extension:
If you have additional time or want to continue deep listening practice during another lesson or advisory session, consider giving students space to practice role playing with peers. You can use the prompts and instructions below to facilitate this.
(1) Tell students that they will be practicing deep listening skills over a shared topic. The first speaker has 1.5-2 minutes to talk, with no contributions from their partner except practicing the listening skills they learned.
(2) For the listening partners, you’ll remind them of the three listening skills, and remind them to “think and feel and listen for the nuances in their partner’s responses.” The instructor will keep track of time for the class and instruct students when it is time to move on.
(3) Once the first speaker has talked, the listening partner has 1.5-2 minutes to engage in brief conversation, reminding them that the listener can reflect on what’s been said by paraphrasing (e.g., So what I heard was...”), asking thoughtful clarification questions (e.g., “what did you mean when you said…?”), and acknowledging others’ feelings.
(4) Then, it will be the listener’s turn to speak for 1.5-2 minutes without interruption, followed by conversation with their partner. Throughout, students will be encouraged to use the three listening skills of Body Language, Focus, and Expressing Empathy.
(5) After each listening deeply session, students will be asked a selection of questions to guide their overall reflection. Students can respond verbally or in their journals, though you’ll want to save time for students to share their reflections if they journal.
(5) Follow the Listening Deeply Protocol with the following prompts:
What did you do this weekend?
What’s your favorite memory or vacation so far?
What are you afraid of and how can you conquer your fears?
(6) After completing the protocol, bring the group together for an honest and low-pressure protocol debrief to reflect on their Listening Deeply experiences.
(7) Use the following questions for the debriefing protocol:
What was it like to only talk? What was it like to only listen for 2 minutes?
What elements of verbal and nonverbal communication did you notice?
How does it feel to be listened to fully? What does that look or feel like?
How does it feel when you’re not listened to? How does your behavior change?
How does it feel to listen poorly? What did that look like for you?
How does it feel to listen at your best? What did that look like for you?
What do you think gets in the way of good listening in your life? How could you change that?
What did you learn about your partner? What did you learn about yourself?
Why do you think listening is important for empathy? How can we show we care about someone “just” by listening?
(8) Students may reflect on paper, in pairs, or as a whole group – use a strategy that best suits your students. Differentiate this portion of the strategy by providing students sentence starters or word banks as needed.
Variation:
- Once a week, or at various points throughout class discussions, you can highlight the third aspect of active listening– expressing empathy– and make a habit of asking students to paraphrase or repeat what a fellow classmate said, as well as to validate their feelings (if applicable).
When You Might Use This Strategy:
- This lesson can be used as s Tier 1 strategy to improve cultural awareness, increase understanding and awareness of diversity and inclusion, as well as several SEL competencies such as social awareness, social-perspective taking and relationship building.
- School counselors might also use this strategy in Tier 2 groups of students that could use more support in developing social awareness, social-perspective taking, and/or building relationships.
Implementation Tips:
- Encourage students to more actively and respectfully respond to each other by modeling positive responses, setting clear expectations, and providing sufficient scaffolding.
There are many approaches to active listening, and this lesson centers around these primary skills: engaged body language, focus, and expressing empathy. The more students practice active listening without being in a two-way conversation, the more they’ll come to value showing interest when someone is speaking, trying to understand their thoughts and feelings, and making them feel heard. The personal nature of the listening prompts also sets the stage for student sharing, which can build trust and connection in the classroom.
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