How To Handle Students Who Complain
You pour your heart into your job. You love your students, even when they’re not so lovable.
You plan and create interesting lessons and deliver them with energy.
So when a student complains, often within full earshot of the class, it can be infuriating.
Few things get under a teacher’s skin as deeply.
“Why do we have to do this?”
“This is sooo boring.”
“Oh no, not that again.”
It can take willpower not to reply with a sharp, “Because I said so” or “So sad, too bad.” It can be hard not to glare, fume, and hold a private grudge.
But if you can pause for a moment and remember how important it is not to create friction with your students, then you can all but eliminate complaining from your classroom.
Here’s how:
Smile
After pausing to collect yourself, your best response is to smile. Really. Just smile. They may be having a bad day. They may be tired or frustrated with something that has nothing to do with you. In which case, a smile can lighten their load.
Remember
It helps to remember that they’re just kids, and complaining is part of growing up. It’s in their DNA, and okay. While it’s smart to reflect on your lessons and how to make them better, occasional student complaining is rarely a sign you’re doing something wrong.
Empathize
Sometimes a genuine smile is all you need. But if they persist, tell them that you understand—because you do. You too were a student once and have experienced your fair share of frustration and resistance to hard work.
Explain
Students get irritated when they don’t know why you’re doing what you’re doing. So tell them. Be transparent. Studies show that when you use the word ‘because’ you’ll experience greater influence and buy-in, even if the reason is nonsensical.
Smile
There is no need to belabor the point. Give a quick reason—“because it improves your writing skills”—and then finish with warm eye contact and a final smile, or even a chuckle. You’ll usually get one in return.
Embracing the Challenge
Becoming a good student takes discipline and learning to be comfortable being uncomfortable, and as teachers we should be absolutely unapologetic about pushing the envelop every day on what they can do.
Feeling at times overwhelmed or daunted by the challenges you place before them is something all students experience. If they don’t, then they’re not growing and we’re not doing our job.
The key to getting them through those tough moments is your empathy and unwillingness to take their complaining personally.
When they know that through their struggles and weak moments you have their back—that you get it, you’ve been there, and you still believe in them—then they become empowered to overcome them.
They fight through the tedium.
They set aside their compulsion to complain and avoid difficulty, and instead embrace it as part of the pursuit of excellence you live and breathe and pursue every day.
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