Monday Motivator #10 2018-19

The Gift

http://parents-teachers.com/cgi-bin/library/jump.cgi?ID=2267

By – Yvette Rivera There are some students who touch your life in ways that you can never imagine. Students who do not even realize that they are having an impact on you. For me it was a student that I taught right out of college. After graduating college in May, I set out to teach junior high summer school. Not the ideal choice for a first time teaching experience, but I was young and enthusiastic. Well I did not count on the class I was going to encounter. My students were a rough bunch to say the least. A combination of every school in the district’s worst of the worst. Still I was positive that I could make a difference. By the fourth week of summer school I had given up on making a difference and just hoped that at least some of these kids could pass the course. Of course, no class is complete without a ringleader. Apparently “John” found pleasure in just driving people crazy. There was no logical reason for the way he behaved. He was an extra challenge in a room full of challenges. I cannot tell you when and how something changed, but one day it did. John’s behavior was still atrocious, but something else in him changed. John became very close to me. He moved his desk right next to mine and he became almost like my personal assistant. John still did not like to listen, but he loved to talk. He would tell me many different stories about his life. One day he told me a story that forever changed my life. John asked me if I liked CK1 perfume. I said yes, not knowing where the conversation was going. He told me that his parents had an argument and his father brought the perfume to make amends. He said that his mother did not like the perfume and that she did not want the gift. He brought me the perfume and said it was because his mom did not want it. I accepted the gift from him after being sure he had gotten permission to give it away. A week later I was on the phone with John’s father. We were discussing John’s behavior again. His father started the conversation by saying, “since my wife passed away,” and before he could finish, I stopped him and asked him to explain. John’s mother had died the beginning of that year from cancer. The story about the perfume was true, but it happened almost a year earlier. John’s father insisted that I keep the perfume, stating that his son must have had a special reason for giving it to me. John and I talked about his mother, but we never discussed the gift. At the end of the summer, John was able to pass my class (barely) and move on the 7th grade. I never had an impact on John’s behavior; his grades barely improved. I didn’t make any of the impacts that teachers are expected to make. However, I made another impact that I never expected. On the last day of summer school, John who never liked to show feelings or emotions came back to my room to say goodbye several times. On the final trip to my room, John hugged me a long time and said, “Thank you Ms. Rivera. I love you.” Those words have changed my life forever. Those were words I know that child had not said in a very long time, but he felt that he could tell me. As I waved goodbye and assured him that I loved him too, I knew that I would never forget John. How can you forget the student that illustrates to you that teaching is more than just grades and books? Teaching is about those life altering moments you never expect. Teaching is about touching a student’s life and having a student touch yours.

Monday Motivator #9 2018-19

Doing a book study with Debbie Miller's new book, so thought I'd share a quick excerpt.

Monday Motivator #8 2018-19

How Not To Feel Resentment Over Difficult Students

https://www.smartclassroommanagement.com/2018/10/06/anger-resentment-difficult-students/

October 6, 2018 by Michael Linsin

It’s normal to feel angry.

How could you not? You have a student who is ruining your school year.

They’re disruptive every day. They’re rude and disrespectful.

They cause more problems, more chaos, and more disorder than the rest of your class put together.

And despite your best efforts to stay positive, privately you stew.

You resent their misbehavior and how profoundly it affects your ability to teach.

If you’re a regular reader of SCM, however, then you know that resentment does you no good. In fact, it makes things worse because it’s something you can’t hide, no matter how hard you try.

It will always rise to the surface.

Sometimes it’s just a look, a micro-expression, or a nuance in the way you speak to them versus everyone else. But it’s there, and they know it.

They can see it and feel it, as sure as the backpack weighing on their shoulders.

In previous articles, we’ve talked about the power of choosing to like difficult students, of seeing only the best in them.

We’ve heard from many readers who have been liberated by this advice and overjoyed with the effect it has on their most challenging students.

But there are others who just can’t seem to embrace it.

They try, no doubt. They try with all their might. They want to like them. They commit themselves to like them. They know it’s right and are convinced of the strategy’s effectiveness.

But when push comes to shove, when Anthony or Michelle spoils a great lesson or brazenly disrespects them, it all goes out the window. They can’t seem to erase their nagging animosity.

So what’s the solution?

The solution is to realize that it’s not the student’s fault. Somewhere along the line they’ve been let down by the adults in their life. Not every adult, mind you. Sometimes it can be just one.

It may be the curse of permissiveness, the pain of abuse and neglect, or the residue of poverty, hunger, or other trauma.

But it manifests itself most acutely when they’re subject to authority they view—sometimes unfairly—as antagonistic or oppositional.

That’s not to say that they’re not responsible for their own behavior. They are, 100%. But you’re the one standing in front of them. You’re the authority figure in their life setting ground rules and giving directions. (In their eyes, telling them what to do.)

And thus it’s you that they rail against. It’s you they take it out on. Unless, that is, you accept the idea that it isn’t really them talking and behaving, but rather the pain and hurt roiling inside.

Grasping this reality has a way of putting things into perspective and replacing the resentment you can’t seem to shake with compassion and understanding.

In fact, it does so effortlessly.

Seeing the big picture, realizing that their behavior is all but screaming out their desire to be understood, believed in, and given strong boundaries, makes choosing to like them the most natural thing in the world.

It makes your morning drive to school filled not with dread, but with purpose. It softens your heart and imbues you with the patience, kindness, and love they need.

And this makes all the difference.

This doesn’t mean that you’ll ever lower your standards or fail to hold them accountable. Love, after all, is not an emotion. Rather, it’s the active pursuit of what’s best for another.

But once they see that in you, once it dawns on them that you really are on their side and ensconced in their corner . . .

Their behavior will change.

Monday Motivator #7 2018-19

The Big Fresh October 6, 2018 Get Under the Ball

Brenda Power

https://www.choiceliteracy.com/articles-detail-view.php?id=3054

Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.                                                                                                      Arnold Palmer This weekend we went to watch our youngest daughter’s team play in a volleyball tournament, hosted in our downtown convention center.  There must have been at least 80 teams in this giant facility, with the sound of whistles and coaches vying for attention. To get to her team’s match, we had to weave through a river of parents in chairs to reach the far back corner where they were playing. It was enjoyable to watch her coach her team, calling timeouts, making play changes, and giving advice as they volleyed the ball across the net. After winning the first game in the set, the second game wasn’t going as well. The team was unable to find its rhythm. The servers the team could usually count on had difficulty getting the ball over the net; when receiving, getting the ball to the setter seemed impossible. Before her team knew it, the score was 9-22. It wasn’t looking good. Despite two time-outs and a few adjustments, the team just couldn’t change the momentum of the game. It would’ve been easy to panic. It would’ve been easy to just give up. The players I had just witnessed win a game with confidence, now looked unsure of everything. The team set up to receive the ball, my daughter looked at her back row and calmly reminded them, “Just get under the ball.” The players, sensing her belief in them and understanding this foundational direction, settled into their places and prepared to receive the ball. The referee blew the whistle and the server sent the ball over the net. The players did just what she had suggested: they just got under the ball. The receiver popped it into the air, passing it to the setter, who set the ball for a hitter. The team settled down and found some rhythm despite the deficit in their score. Time after time, they just got under the ball. Although they didn’t win that game, they did get the score to 17-25, and did end up winning the match. Marissa was a third grader struggling in reading.  Having come to our school just over a year ago, she wasn’t making the gains needed to catch up to her peers.  We sat around the table discussing her support. She was seeing three different people: her classroom teacher, the reading support teacher, and the literacy coach. As we talked, it became obvious that everyone was telling her something different. She could read a variety of texts, but making sense of them was difficult. She seemed to be so busy trying to please everyone that she was losing sight of making meaning.  It was decided she needed to notice when meaning was off-track. We created a plan to keep her focused on meaning, planned the same language for prompting, and reduced the number of adults she was seeing each day. She just needed to bring her focus to one idea: stopping to think when she noticed meaning breaking down. In our classrooms sit readers like Marissa who need to make great gains.  In today’s high-stakes world, it’s easy to panic. Before we know it, we have a laundry list of goals for the reader.  Our students who need the greatest consistency often sit beside different teachers across their day. We feel the pressure to accelerate progress and find ourselves trying to remediate deficits with an abundance of skills, strategies, and prompts.  If we aren’t careful, our readers can lose time to read and practice new learning. We forget to lift the strengths, to celebrate the little steps, and to stay focused on the one foundational step that might help a reader to move forward. What if we could peel away the layers to choose the one thing that mattered most?  What if we just “got under the ball?” This week we look at one strategy for "getting under the ball" in conferences. Focusing on one thing with a struggling learner can wipe away a lot of distractions, and leaves students of any age with a sense of their strengths and what's next.  Cathy Mere Contributor, Choice Literacy Cathy Mere is a literacy specialist in Hilliard (Ohio) City Schools. She is the author of More Than Guided Reading. A trained literacy coach and former Reading Recovery teacher, Cathy leads professional development workshops and presents at state and national conferences. She blogs at Refine and Reflect.