Monday Motivator #25 2023-24

Everybody Wants to Be a Hero (and Needs a Guide) 

https://choiceliteracy.com/article/everybody-wants-to-be-a-hero-and-needs-a-guide/

Every story has a hero. The Princess Bride has Inigo Montoya. The Wizard of Oz has Dorothy. Star Wars has Luke Skywalker.

Everyone wants to be the hero of their own stories. This is true for the children sitting in our classrooms. They pretend to be superheroes, fighting the evil forces of the universe and saving the day. They wish to be heroes in both make-believe stories and real life.

Brains Use Story to Make Sense of Things

In real life, humans are wired as storytellers. Our brains use story to make sense of the world. Brains crave order and will work to make sense of nonsensical events. The way a brain makes sense of things is through story. When children come from hard places, their brains try to make sense of the events by creating a story.

We can’t keep mothers from drinking or fathers from going to jail. We can’t stop cancer or mental illness. There are circumstances that aren’t fair and shouldn’t have to be faced. Every trail has obstacles. They are unavoidable.

Too often the stories children tell themselves are inaccurate. For example, my daughter Hannah was six when we adopted her. About a year after she joined our forever family, I tucked her into bed and she said, “I wish I could be reborn.”

Her words gave me pause. “Will you say more about that?” I asked.

“Well, Sam, he’s lucky because he’s always been here. That makes him easy to love, and he loves people back super easy. I’m not lucky. If I were reborn with you as my mom when I was a baby, then I’d be easy to love too. I’m not lucky.”

“You aren’t unlucky, Hannah. You are special and we love you.”

“The memories I have don’t feel very good. I wish I was reborn and could live like Sam,” Hannah said, her voice muffled from behind her plump comforter pulled up past her nose. I used to wish I could wave a magic wand that would take away all of her hurt. She is far from unlovable, and my heart cracked, hearing her wish to be reborn.

Hannah is who she is because of her experiences. They aren’t inspiration for sweet bedtime picture books, but they are a foundation for her to build a story of overcoming hardship and developing perseverance. She has to hear a different version of how her story goes. Learning a different version of how her story goes is much more powerful than a magic wand.

Hannah is not unlucky, not unlovable, and not bad at loving people back. She is a survivor who loved her little sister so much, she took care of her and helped her become a survivor, too. This is the story I recounted for Hannah. “Do you remember how you used to sleep next to Stephanie when she was a baby, to keep her warm?”

She nodded. “I gave her bottles, too.”

I smiled. “I know. You were really good at loving her. You still are. Remember how you gave her some of your dessert tonight at dinner?”

She giggled. “She really loves sweets!”

It takes time to help children learn a better version of the stories they are living. As both a parent and an educator, I must remember that I can equip and empower others to tell a different version of the stories they are living. It’s what I did for Hannah. I placed her as the hero—she was brave and compassionate while protecting her little sister. You can almost hear the soundtrack playing in the background as the scene unfolded.

Rewriting Stories

Too often the stories children tell themselves are inaccurate. It is essential to help them put words on the page to see the true story they are living. We help kids rewrite their stories when we show them how to be the heroes of their stories.

The thing about heroes is that they always have a guide. Inigo Montoya has Fezzik. Dorothy has the Good Witch. Luke has Yoda.

To help students rewrite their histories of hard stories into truth, they need a guide. Guides empower heroes. I love the scene in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy meets the Wicked Witch of the West and snags the ruby slippers. Glinda guides Dorothy. We can learn a lot from Glinda about how to be an effective guide.

In this scene, Glinda inspires me to be a guide. She stays close to Dorothy, wrapping her arms around her to provide support and encouragement. Glinda gives Dorothy the tools (the ruby slippers), but doesn’t give her a lecture about how to use them. I admire the way Glinda offers just enough protection, just enough advice, and just enough resources to get started and then trusts Dorothy to figure out the steps of the journey.

Inspiring Guides

Let’s consider the qualities of a guide based on your favorite story. Think of a familiar plot from a book or movie. Then open your notebook (paper or digital), set a timer for seven minutes, and do a quick-write, using the following questions as inspiration:

•        What qualities of a guide do you see in Glinda?
• Who is the hero of your favorite story?
• Who is the guide?
• What are the guide’s actions?
• How are you inspired by the guide?

Each time I lead this exercise, I’m enamored with the favorite storylines selected. Even more remarkable are the commonalities between the guides. The Harry Potter series, Pretty Woman, Finding Nemo, and Gladiator all have characters who have served as solid inspiration for being a guide who empowers the hero.

As teachers we have the opportunity to guide students toward becoming the heroes of their own stories. With inspiration from the guides in our favorite plot lines, we can be equipped to help students become the heroes of their own stories.

Monday Motivator #24 2023-24

 Turn and Talk, Then What?

https://choiceliteracy.com/article/turn-and-talk-then-what/ by Vivian Chen
“Who has an idea they’d like to share?” I ask my students, wanting to hear whether they’re on the right track.
Crickets.
“Anyone? Anyone?” Oh no, I sound like the teacher from the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
“How about you, Eva?” Eva always has something to share. Eva shares. Phew! Disaster averted…for now.
Does this scene feel familiar? For more years than I care to admit, this was an all-too-common occurrence in my classroom. To make things worse, if it wasn’t deadly silence, then it was calling on students with raised hands one at a time, each one of them playing their own personal game of Atari’s Pong with me. (Eighties kids will remember that video game; everyone else, think a game of really slow ping-pong—really slow.) Then the topper to all of this was calling on a student who shared an off-topic response, leaving me to rack my brain for a reply that wouldn’t squash the sharer’s ego.
In our quest to engage students, to assess what they know, to develop their oral language, we sometimes ask questions of the group and then elicit individual responses from students who raise their hands. We might even use “equity sticks”—those sticks with a person’s name on each one that you pick randomly to hear from more voices. However, using these structures means we inadvertently end up teaching kids to tune out when it’s not their turn, assessing only a few students, and developing oral language for the ones participating. With the use of “equity sticks” we may even unintentionally harm students by making them feel embarrassed or put on the spot.
Luckily, I had a coach who shared a different way to get kids talking in the classroom. It’s a strategy you’re probably already familiar with, but maybe you don’t use it as often as you could. Or maybe you use it, but still find yourself back at the same place afterward. The strategy is to get kids to turn and talk. Yup, that’s it. It’s true there are ways we can make the turn-and-talk more meaningful and complex, but the first step is to just use turn-and-talk instead of playing Pong.
“I already do turn-and-talk,” you might be saying, “but then when I ask kids to share, it’s back to crickets.” Or “When I do turn-and-talk, the room becomes chaotic.” 
Here are a few tips and tweaks to level up your turn-and-talks.

Listen In

Don’t ask for volunteers or pull a stick out of the jar. Instead, listen around the room as kids talk to their partners. Then name for them the things you heard. When you share for the students, you can highlight exactly the ideas you want to and it will feel validating for more students. You also avoid the awkward correction of wrong answers. What if no one shares a very important idea you want to get across? Just give it to them.
Here’s what it might sound like:

T: Get ready to share the ideas you have with your partner. Okay, turn and share (talk).

Teacher listens in on conversations, perhaps even coaching partners to elicit more information from each other.

T: Okay, here are some of the ideas I heard from several partnerships. 

Some ways to share ideas for students:
Many of you were saying…while some of you shared…
I heard [name of student who could use a status boost] share
I’m also wondering if some of you were thinking…[insert important idea that no one actually shared].

Coach In

One of the pitfalls with using turn-and-talks for me was getting too involved in one partnership’s conversation. Not only did I end up taking over the conversation, but I lost the rest of the class who had already wrapped up their talk. Instead of joining a conversation, it helped to coach alongside the kids. This might be giving tips to students in their ear, much like a football coach does with the quarterback. Whenever I wanted to ask a question of a partnership to push their thinking and talking, I would whisper the question to one of the partners to ask the question instead.
Coaching can also take the form of voice-overs, more like the coach yelling suggestions onto the field, but without the yelling. These voice-overs can include questions to ask or listening/speaking behavior tips. They can also include sentence starters partners can use. This is great when coupled with a visual of the sentence starters.

Partner Purposefully

It’s easy to ask kids to just turn and talk to the person next to them, but that doesn’t always result in the most productive conversations. Sometimes pairs aren’t comfortable talking to each other, and sometimes they’re too comfortable. Setting partners up ahead of time based on their needs and their ability to work together can make conversations more meaningful. 
For subjects like writing, it can be helpful to create long-term partnerships rather than switching them often, since sharing writing can be such a vulnerable process. Even reading conversations can benefit from long-term pairings. I once observed a fifth-grade class during their reading block and marveled at both the depth of the conversation and the rapport the readers had with each other. It turns out they had been partners all year long and had been partners in fourth grade as well!
There are also some instances when it’s helpful to create triads. For emergent bilingual learners, a trio can help with language support, but also act as conversational models. You might also have students who need more social support. When teamed up with a pair of students who are more proficient, again they can see a model. Also, the proficient partners will still receive mutual support. Finally, a triad is sometimes needed when you have students who are chronically absent or pulled from class often.
You might be thinking that this sounds good (it does, right?), but there are times when students need to share to the group. That’s a skill. I agree. And there’s a time and a place for that as well. When we do share individually, it’s usually when we’re discussing a topic around which students need and want to grow ideas in the company of others. This might be discussing the possibilities of a theme at the end of a book or a debatable issue in history. If the class is working on a whole-group discussion like this, I want to focus on creating a space for dialogue and avoid the Teacher-Student–back to Teacher–Next Student pattern.
To create this space, we need to equip students with some tools to do this effectively. Hands Down, Speak Out by Wedekind and Thompson is a fantastic resource for teaching kids explicit skills for whole-class conversations. (Check out even more resources below.) It also requires some patience and grit on your part, because the kids will not be successful right away.
I recently conducted a series of model lessons for teachers, and each group commented on the use of turn-and-talk along with sharing for the kids. Some of the feedback I heard: “More of my kids who don’t like to share were sharing today!” “That took so much less time than when I call on the kids.” That small change made such a difference.
Leveling up your turn-and-talks can save you from standing at the front of the room repeating, “Bueller…Bueller,” or waiting for one student to share a really elaborate and convoluted response that, well, is on the wrong track. It can also save the other students from waiting around for a response or listening to something that actually won’t add to their learning.
Turn and talk to your colleague: What do you think?
My top three professional reads to help students with academic conversations:
Building Bigger Ideas by Maria Nichols
Hands Down, Speak Out by Kassia Wedekind and Christy Thompson
Teaching Talk by Kara Pranikoff

Monday Motivator #23 2023-24

 

Random Acts of Kindness Week 2024

#RAKWeek is February 11-17, 2024!

Random Acts of Kindness Week is the perfect time to #MakeKindnessTheNorm by sharing your stories of kindness along with making a big impact through small acts. See what a difference a small act can make - Meet Norm. 

Tag your stories on social media with #RAKWeek and visit randomactsofkindness.org for FREE inspiration, ideas, and resources. 

Make Kindness the Norm ♥️ 

Day 1: Sunday - Kindness Starts with You

• Story: Reflect on a time when an act of kindness made a difference in your life.

• Challenge: Perform a random act of kindness for yourself, such as practicing self-care or expressing gratitude for your own accomplishments.

Day 2: Monday - Spreading Joy in the Community

• Story: Share stories of kindness you've witnessed or experienced within your community.

• Challenge: Challenge yourself to perform a random act of kindness within your community, such as helping a neighbor in need, picking up litter in a public space, or thanking essential workers in your area.

Day 3: Tuesday - Kindness in the Workplace

• Story: Share a story about someone who demonstrates kindness and compassion in the workplace.

• Challenge: Show your appreciation to your coworkers or employees by writing thank-you notes or buying their favorite treat or beverage.

Day 4: Wednesday - Valentine’s Day ♥️

• Story: Share heartwarming stories of love and kindness and the impact it has had on you.

• Challenge: Download The Kind Heart Project and perform an act of kindness for a stranger, someone you know or even yourself.

Day 5: Thursday - Kindness in School

• Story: Think of someone who impacted you when you were at school. It could be a teacher, a coach, a friend, your parents. 

• Challenge: Reach out to the person you’re thinking about and share your story with them. We’d love to hear it too!

Day 6: Friday - Cultivating Kindness in Relationships

• Story: Reflect on the relationships in your life and how kindness strengthens them.

• Challenge: Reach out to a friend or family member you haven't spoken to in a while and express your appreciation for them. Consider sending a handwritten note.

Day 7: Saturday - Random Acts of Kindness Day #RAKDay

• Story: Reflect on the week's activities and the impact of spreading kindness.

• Challenge: Continue incorporating acts of kindness into your daily life beyond this week. Join our global community of RAKtivists and help Make Kindness the Norm♥️

We can create change that extends beyond Random Acts of Kindness Week. Let's continue to inspire and uplift one another, one story and one act of kindness at a time. 

Together, let’s make kindness the norm! 

#RAKWeek #RAKDay #MakeKindnesstheNorm #RAKtivists

https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/the-kindness-blog/26-random-acts-of-kindness-week-2024

Monday Motivator #22 2023-24

How Kansas City Chiefs coach Andy Reid unlocked Travis Kelce

ANDY REID STILL recalls the first time he met Travis Kelce, after one of Kelce's games while he was still at the University of Cincinnati. He remembers thinking it was going to take patience -- lots of patience -- if he were to ever coach this player.
Kelce treated Reid like a long-lost friend more than a new acquaintance. He called the veteran coach "big fella."
"He was being Travis, being cocky," Reid said. "Jiminy, he was cocky."
It was a fitting start to the relationship between Reid, an old-school coach, and Kelce, a fun-loving tight end who proved Reid right in that he would test his patience plenty.
Even recently, in Reid and Kelce's 11th season together with the Kansas City Chiefs, the two clashed on the sideline after Kelce slammed his helmet in frustration during an ugly Christmas Day loss to the Las Vegas Raiders at home. Reid instructed an equipment manager to not immediately return the helmet to Kelce and had some words for him before eventually sending him back into the game.
But things generally have worked out as well as Reid and Kelce could have hoped. Under Reid's tutelage, Kelce has become one of the greatest tight ends of all time. He is fourth all-time among players at his position in catches and receptions. He is no longer the undisciplined and cocky kid Reid met that day in Cincinnati, and yet, in many ways he hasn't changed at all.
"For Travis, Coach Reid has almost been like that uncle you have that you listen to and get advice from," quarterback Patrick Mahomes said. "He makes Travis a great football player but I think even a better person. He has a good feel for getting on Travis when he needs that motivation, but at the same time he lets Travis be who he is."
TIGHT ENDS COACH Tom Melvin could often be found in the players' parking lot before team meetings early in Kelce's career. Properly managing his time was an issue for Kelce then, and Reid would send Melvin outside to wait for Kelce and rush him into the building.
Reid isn't much for yelling and screaming, preferring more subtle ways to get his point across. One is the look he uses when he knits his eyebrows and glares at a player.
Kelce said the look means "enough screwing around," adding he used to receive it frequently.
"One of the hardest things for me was to juggle enjoying my life off the field and still being a professional and ready and at the top of my game week in and week out," Kelce said. "A lot of that was Coach Reid sitting me down, talking with me and guiding me through all of it. I was testing it with him.
"I was late to meetings, hanging out too much throughout the week, not necessarily focusing and showing to my coaches that I was giving everything I could. I learned you can show your personality and have fun but you have to be accountable to the guy next to you and be able to handle the highs and the lows of the game. Now, football is the only place in my life where I'm really detailed, really professional. When I'm thinking about football, I'm dialed in. I can lock in, really compartmentalize. That's because of Coach Reid."
Kelce is a lot of things, including being the greatest pass-catching tight end of his generation. His streak of seven 1,000-yard seasons, a record for his position, was snapped in 2023 -- he was 16 yards short -- when the Chiefs rested him, Mahomes and some of their other stars in the season's final game.
Kelce's also a big personality who once had his own dating reality show and now is dating the world's preeminent pop star, Taylor Swift. Travis and his brother Jason, of the Philadelphia Eagles, host a podcast in which Travis isn't afraid to speak his mind, often profanely. Travis once -- while seated next to Mahomes at a nationally televised basketball game -- was shown chugging beer.
Reid might prefer that Kelce live a more sedate lifestyle, but he knew what to expect from Kelce when he joined the Chiefs as a third-round draft pick in 2013.
"When Travis came to us, he was a little bit of a party guy," Chiefs general manager Brett Veach said. "Andy showed a lot of patience and tolerance.
"Travis wanted attention. He wanted a lot of things. He did things differently than everyone else. Coming here, having to do things a certain way and really organizing and prioritizing his life was a challenge. There were a lot of one-on-one meetings with Coach and a lot of, 'This is how I want things done.' There were a ton of bumps early on, but Coach's love and faith for Travis never wavered. He got him through a rough time early on."
AFTER 14 SEASONS coaching the Eagles, Reid joined the Chiefs in 2013. He was familiar with Travis through Jason, the center who played for him for two seasons with the Eagles.
Reid initially wasn't certain he wanted Travis with the Chiefs. He saw his pass-catching ability but was conflicted about the season-long suspension in 2010 from the Cincinnati Bearcats for multiple positive marijuana tests.
The coach acknowledged it would have been difficult for the Chiefs to draft Travis if he hadn't known Jason. Jason said Reid called him shortly before the draft.
"I felt like he was asking me in the moment, 'You realize I'm taking this shot on him. I want to make sure this works out,'" Jason said. "Kind of like [Reid was saying], 'You're part of this working out,' so if it doesn't work out, he's holding me responsible.
"We had a great relationship in Philadelphia even though it was only for two years. He knew me and trusted me as a player. My brother's film from college I think spoke for itself. I think they knew the type of player they were getting. Because of the inside scoop I guess with me, they were able to kind of get over some of the concerns with him."
Once he was with the Chiefs, the process of trying to fit Travis into Reid's mold began.
"He coached me hard," Kelce said. "He didn't let me come in and be this happy-go-lucky guy. He challenged me every single day."
Kelce recalled in one of his first training camps, the Chiefs ran a long-drive drill where the offense stays on the field for 15-20 plays, which is long by NFL practice standards.
"He called almost every single play for me," Kelce said. "There was a slant and then a deep ball and then we're coming back with a deep cross and then an out route. I know he was challenging me. I know he wanted to make me feel it in the pit of my stomach, be miserable out on the field but still have to be accountable to my guys.
"Sure enough, I'm dragging tail, and I look over at Coach Reid and he tells me to get it going, tells me that I was moving too slowly. That's what he does. I see how he challenges other guys, the young guys, nowadays. It's fun to see how guys react to it. I even go up to guys and let them know, 'Hey, this is where you can find greatness in yourself, this is where you can take the next step.'"
KELCE MISSED HIS rookie season after having microfracture surgery on his knee. He progressed as a player once he got on the field. His catches and yards increased in each of his first three NFL seasons.
But he had the knack for occasionally setting the Chiefs back with a penalty that was usually sparked by his temper.
During his career, Kelce has been penalized six times for unsportsmanlike conduct and once for taunting. He was ejected from a game in 2016 for throwing a towel at an official after he was penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct. It's worth noting that five of the seven penalties came in 2017 or earlier, meaning the first four seasons of his career.
"Those acts early on in his career were about him and the self-gratification of acting out," Veach said. "Now he's kind of been rewired. Now when he screws up, he'll go right to Coach and say, 'I'm sorry, Big Red.' The game has become less about him and more about the team."
Kelce is quick to show contrition when he slips up. He threw a punch during training camp at linebacker Jack Cochrane, who was trying to pry the ball away after Kelce made a catch.
Kelce apologized on social media for throwing the punch. Reid said he never had to approach Kelce about the incident because Kelce approached him first.
"You still see that passion and that craziness but in a productive way," Veach said. "You still see that personality, but it's done within the confines of professionalism and structure of doing things the right way. He's a great example now."
KELCE IS THE fourth-highest paid tight end in the NFL this year with an average annual salary of $14.3 million. He said he realizes he could have squeezed more from the Chiefs or been paid more as a free agent.
Kelce said there are many reasons he remained with the Chiefs for less money. Two Super Bowl wins and the chance to play with a generational talent like Mahomes are high on the list.
So is playing for Reid.
"I know what I have here is special and I can't get that anywhere else," Kelce said. "Coach Reid is one of the biggest reasons for that. I can't even fathom going anywhere else and having the same success. I would hope I would have gained the same skill sets, but I've heard how things are in other buildings, with other organizations. So I've been more than blessed.
"That goes for things off the field, too. Everybody knows I'm a fun-loving guy, that I like to get out of the house, but he puts in more work than anybody that I've ever met, and what that does is hold you to a standard that you have to match. Being prepared is his biggest thing."
For his part, Kelce has helped Reid win countless games and caught a touchdown pass in each of the Chiefs' two recent Super Bowl victories.
But the ways in which he helped Reid go beyond what's happened on the field. Dealing with a player such as Kelce helped Reid understand it's OK to allow for personalities to show, as long as that doesn't affect what happens on the field.
"Travis is a guy that shows his personality very well," said former Chiefs linebacker Derrick Johnson, a teammate of Kelce's early in his career. "He's very charismatic, a fun guy. That's a little different from Andy. You always know what you're getting from Andy. No surprises. Kelce is a little bit the other way.
"Kelce helps Andy loosen up and stay young. You've got to stay on your toes with Kelce. Having fun is what Kelce is about. That's just how it is. Kelce needs that guidance. Andy put him in a box, but it wasn't a little box. He would let him do his thing but there were some parameters."
The Chiefs are the most successful NFL franchise of the past decade, with eight straight division championships, five straight AFC Championship Game appearances and two Super Bowl titles.
It's difficult to picture the Chiefs or their fans enjoying the ride as much without Kelce. He gave the franchise an anthem when he famously invoked the Beastie Boys and screamed, "You've gotta fight for your right to party!" after its AFC Championship victory after the 2019 season.
After last year's AFC Championship Game, he called out the Cincinnati mayor, who before the game had made fun of the Chiefs and their struggles against the Bengals. He is the one every player and fan has to hear speak at the Super Bowl parades because no one is ever certain what will come out of his mouth.
In that sense, the life he's brought to the Chiefs may be his most important gift to Reid and his team.
"You're talking about a guy that has an abundance of positive energy that's infectious throughout the organization," Veach said. "You throw in the receptions and the touchdowns and the Pro Bowls and the Hall of Fame career, just his production is beneficial for Coach. But equally as important is that Travis has been able to filter all of that energy and excitement in a way that brings this team closer together.
"We play '(You've Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!)' after a touchdown now because of Travis Kelce. That song is connected to this organization because of Travis Kelce. It's like an energy multiplier. That's hard to quantify just how important that is. He plays with that kind of character, charisma, passion, and he brings people along with him. In our building, everybody is friends with Travis Kelce. He is an ultimate energy giver. He elevates everybody's mood, focus, attention and at the end of the day, he's still fun."
ESPN's Tim McManus contributed to this report.
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/39267255/how-kansas-city-chiefs-coach-andy-reid-unlocked-travis-kelce